This parent review of Before the After by Jacqueline Woodson offers a brief summary of the story and a content guide for parents as well as both positive and negative aspects of the story so you can decide if this book is a good fit for your family. See the Reviews page for more book and curriculum reviews.
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Synopsis
The story is told through the eyes of ZJ, the young son of a former professional American football player. ZJ adores his dad, as do all of ZJ’s friends and seemingly everyone in their neighborhood. His dad wasn’t just a football player but was a hero to all the kids who knew him, including his son.
Lately, ZJ’s dad hasn’t been himself. He’s been forgetting things, having outbursts of anger, and experiencing debilitating headaches. ZJ remembers the good ol’ days and wishes they were here again. Even his friends have begun to notice a difference.
ZJ learns to deal with grief as he experiences the loss of life with his dad as he once was, the importance of family as they lean on one another for support, and how to process his own emotions as he adjusts to living with someone with a disability.
Written in the style of free verse, this book offers a unique perspective into the thoughts of feelings of the family of someone with a devastating diagnosis. ZJ expresses his confusion, hurt, hope, and disappointment in emotional and heart touching language. The book presents an important and difficult topic in a poetically moving way.
Parents’ Guide
- Age Recommendation: Read alone – 10-14, Read aloud with parent – elementary and up
- Sexual/Romantic References – Parental care and affection for one another, including hugs, dancing, gentle care and comfort.
- Depictions of Violence – Very mild. ZJ’s dad begins to struggle with anger and lashing out as his illness progresses. He expresses frustration with some shouting and punching of things.
- Alcohol/Drug References – Only as pertains to medication for the father’s illness.
- Profanity/Crude Language – None.
- Scary/Intense Scenes – More sad than scary. ZJ watches his father’s mental health decline. There is some waiting for test results and some medical unknowns.
What I liked about Before the Ever After
The book Before the Ever After by Jacqueline Woodson has many positive aspects and messages. I don’t have the space to list them all. But I will give a few of them here.
Family is very important in this book. ZJ and his parents have a great relationship. His dad always makes time for him. He plays, he instills positive principles, and seems to thoroughly enjoy his son. His dad knows ZJ’s friends and encourages ZJ in his friendships. ZJ constantly remembers and recounts things his dad has told him through the years. He fondly recalls all the good times and wonders what life will be like now that his dad is not the same.
ZJ also has a lot of good relationships with his friends. His friends are there for him when he needs them. They check on him and his dad. They express joy and sadness along with ZJ and support him as his family goes through change. ZJ’ s parents treat his friends as members of the family and always welcome them into their home. Their family also has a great relationship with their neighbors and other friends. They seem to have done a good job building their community and establishing meaningful relationships.
The story is mostly told in first person through the voice of ZJ. Periodically, the speaking voice changes and readers get the perspective of a different character. This perspective change is helpful in understanding the full range of what is going on. It makes the story richer and shows how much impact ZJ’s dad had on others.
This book handles emotion well. It shows that it is ok to feel. ZJ expresses fear of the unknown. He expresses grief of what he’s lost. His mother shows love of his dad and him in her care for them both. They all experience both hope and disappointment with each medical test and result. I really appreciate that there is no message of “man up” or anything about males needing to suppress emotion. The characters are given the space to wrestle with their feelings.
It is artistically written and sticks with you longterm.
I also love that the author of this book is a woman of color, a much underrepresented demographic.
The book is also full of positive role models, especially the special relationship between father and son.
What I didn’t like about Before the Ever After
While the book has many positive qualities, an honest review must also include negatives. There really aren’t many negative things that I feel are worth mentioning, however.
I found the fact that the book is in poetic free verse not to be my favorite. My family read the book as a read-a-loud as part of our school time. It was much harder to read the verse out loud as opposed to reading prose. Sometimes the kids had trouble following along with the story or knowing who was speaking.
This book is also incredibly sad. I found myself as a mother feeling ZJ’s childhood pain so strongly that I hardly made it through a reading session without tears. The rest of my family didn’t feel the emotion as strongly as I did. But I cried quite a bit as I read.
Spoiler Alert: One last thing that I didn’t quite meet my expectations was that there was no resolution or happy ending. Readers are left wondering along with ZJ as to what life is going to be like now. His dad finds no miracle cure. The family has to adjust to life as it has become. And readers are left feeling the reality of living with someone with a chronic illness.
Conclusion
I found out about this book through a literature and writing curriculum we were using in our homeschooling. (More to come on that in another post. For reviews of some of my favorite homeschool curricula see the posts on The Good and the Beautiful, Real Science 4 Kids and Logic of English.)
It is a tear-jerker for sure. I especially found it hard to read out loud. My kids seemed to rather enjoy Mama sobbing as I read. And one of my kids asked for her own copy of the book for Christmas later that year. So that speaks well of the sweetness of the story.
The story is meaningful, relevant, and impactful. We have all definitely found ourselves permanently affected by the story. Someone in our family brings it up regularly even though it has been a few years since we first read it.
Overall I would happily recommend this book. It communicates the themes of family, friendship, resilience, and grief well. It portrays positive role models, strong examples of character, and living with medically complex family members. I would include the caveat not to expect a lighthearted read but do expect to be changed as you read.
I hope this parent review of Before the Ever After has helped you in deciding whether the book is a good fit for your family. Feel free to check out some of my other reviews as well, such as The Silver Arrow and Amari and the Night Brothers.
What other books would you like to see reviewed here? I’d love to hear your suggestions in the comments!
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